I’m 24 today – yay! Here’s a blog post to celebrate.
Sometimes I do dumb things…
And then I’m like, “Hey look at that! I just went ahead and did that thing… which was really dumb… Why’d I do that? If only I had thought for half a second first!” 😀
So. I’m going to try to do less stupid things this-coming year, and I’m going to do it by asking myself these 3 questions before I act.
I hope these help you do less stupid things going forward, too! (Oh god… Not that I’m calling you stupid! Or think you do stupid things! In fact, you’ve probably never done anything stupid in your life! I love you! …Ugh…)
1. What are you Trying to Prove?
Sometimes I do things just to try and prove that I’m something… that I’m good enough, or that I’m pretty, or smart, or caring, or successful, or deserving…
Anyway, I’m going to do my best to not waste my energy on trying to prove things this year, because here’s the thing: if something is actually true, then I really don’t need to waste energy on proving it… it’s true, so it just is… truth doesn’t need to be defended like that. And the other thing: if it’s not true, then to try to “prove” it would be to essentially lie by putting up a false front. Last thing: trying to prove things usually just makes you look desperate to prove said thing… and consequently makes everyone around you doubt the validity of said thing.
So yeah. Less of that this year.
2. What are you Running Away From?
I am a procrastination QUEEN. I am so good at avoiding things it’s not even funny. I HATE dishes… that is, unless I have homework that I’m avoiding. Then I LOVE dishes!
I also hate going through unread emails I’ve fallen behind on… unless I have laundry to do… then I LOVE going through old emails.
You know what else I hate? Wasting time watching re-runs of shows I’ve seen a million times… unless my bathroom needs to be cleaned… then I LOVE watching reruns!
You get the point. It’s actually absurd how so much of what I do is to avoid doing something else. Asking this question will force me to determine what exactly I don’t want to do, and allow me to more quickly be a big girl and just DO IT, because sooner or later, let’s just face it, the toilet needs to be cleaned.
3. What would happen if You Didn’t do That?
As much as I don’t do things that I should do, I also spend quite a bit of time doing things that I shouldn’t do (or don’t need to do). And a lot of the times it’s just because I don’t take the time to evaluate why I’m doing something, and do it simply because, well it’s just what I do! Asking this question will help me evaluate if something I’m doing is worth my time, or if I should ditch it.
Case in point: I’m going to NY this weekend, and yesterday I spent a BUNCH of time trying to figure out the best possible way to get there:
Do I take the bus?
Do I take the train?
Do I leave my car at home?
Do I Uber to the bus station?
Do I park at the subway station?
But then I have to pay for parking…?
Do I ask to park at my friends place in Cambridge?
Do I buy my ticket home now?
Do I wait until later?
What if the tickets sell out?
Do I forget the trip and not go altogether?
…… AGHHHHH you get the point.
So I finally stopped for a second and asked myself: What would happen if I DIDN’T agonize over these options and just PICKED one, knowing that there isn’t one perfect way? The sane part of my brain was like, “UH, you’d be done with this whole thing a lot faster and could probably put that energy you’re wasting towards that homework sitting on your desk due tomorrow,” So I stopped what I was doing, made a decision on the trip, and dove into my homework. That little question put a stop to a whole lot of madness!
Side note: this question can also serve as a great reminder as to why I do continue to do certain things. For example: I workout. If I ask myself, “What would happen if I didn’t do that?” The answer would be, “Well, I’d probably get sick and die young,” So… YEAH, I think I’ll keep working out.
Anywho, hope these were helpful, and I hope all you New Englanders are staying safe out there 🙂
xoxo,
Bibs