If you ask me (I know you didn’t ask me, but I’m going to pretend that you did), we are far too absorbed in things that don’t matter in this day and age.
I see girls (and guys) all around me so concerned with what they look like, how they come across, and how others perceive them… it makes me kind of sick tbh. It bothers me so much, because these are things I have a tendency to be far too concerned with myself, if I’m not careful.
If we think about our lives as plants, really simply put:
We’re watering the wrong end of the plant.
So often, in an effort to be accepted, we focus on making ourselves look really nice, and look like we have things all together.
We put on more makeup. We fake a bigger smile. We exercise and alter our eating to try to lose weight. We act happier than we really are, to trick people into thinking we really are “fine.” We pretend to be “Good. (And you?)” when people ask us. We’re all about the appearance.
Continuing with the metaphor, picture a gardener spraying the leaves of a plant, washing them clean of any dirt, making them look nice at first glance, but completely missing the roots, causing the plant to, in actuality, be starving.
I feel like that image represents so many of us in this country. We create the illusion that we’re thriving and succeeding, but underneath it all, we’re thirsty, sick, and desperate for water and sonlight (See what I did there?).
It makes me sad, because if people are anything like me, then a lot of times the reason for putting on this fake front stems from insecurity, and a desire to be accepted.
We think things like, “If I eat less and lose 10 more pounds, then I’ll be happy,” or
“If I go to the gym and get back that six-pack that I used to have, then everyone will like me,” or
“If I wear this name-brand jacket and buy these expensive jeans, then they’ll think I have money, and will respect me,” or
“If I act like I’m confident, then they’ll think I really am confident, and then they’ll view me as their equal,” or
“If I pretend to have it all together, even though inside I’m a mess, then I’ll be worthy of that relationship/of that job/of the accomplishment of that goal/of whatever.”
The problem with all of these “if, thens” is that all of them are contingent upon the assumption that our worth is ours to create, grow, and prove to others. This reasoning completely contradicts the Truth that teaches us that our worth is not ours or anyone’s to determine except for our Creator’s (which He already did long ago).
God’s reminded me of this a lot lately, thanks to his Word, his Church, and especially his people, who continue to speak the truth in Love to me (shoutout to all of those beautiful people).
The key is to look to God for true and life-giving nourishment, and to allow his Love to continuously grow us. As opposed to futilely and unnaturally trying to prune our own selves, if we give God the shears (yikes, taking this metaphor a little too far, I know), only then will we be able to organically rid ourselves of the bad fruits and allow good fruits to grow in their place.
(See next post for tips on how to deal with the insecurities that result in these futile efforts in the first place).
“He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,” Titus 3:5